Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Wide and long

So really, everyone knows I am going to say just what I think on this blog.  This is the reason I have neglected to write as many posts as I would like.  My brain keeps going back to how bad I look and feel during this pregnancy.  I've had several people ask me if I'm carrying twins, and a mom of a teenager ask me if I was past due, and was appalled that I was still a month and a half out, and would indeed be getting bigger.  UGH!

Speaking of getting bigger, one of the perks of pregnancy/having a baby, is obviously the increased boobage!  For someone who has nothing, a little bit up top is really exciting.  But after carrying and breastfeeding two babies already, this time around the bigger cup size isn't quite as appealing, because now, they are just wide!  Not even wide and perky, just wide.  I have to dig them from underneath of my armpits to stuff them into a bra, to create cleavage.  And non-perky boob cleavage is UGLY!  My friends and I have discussions at church about how unattractive cleavage really is.  (Yes, during church- ha!)

And while I am complaining, along with my sausage fingers and toes, my hiney looks like I ate way too many sausages.  And not only is my butt big (OK- no comments on the fact that I have had this larger than life hind end since middle school)- its LONG.  But seriously, who has a long butt? I feel like I need to take up sewing and create an underwear bra, to hold this long bootie in place. I really feel like it starts in the middle of my back, and goes down to just before the back of my knees.  No wonder I can't find any clothes to fit me!

I need to head off to bed, and be grateful for the beautiful blessing that will soon be joining our family, but as I walk up the stairs, rest assured, I will be feeling every force of gravity pulling my body parts straight down!